CHARLIE MUST FALL!!!!!!
Why? This is the question most of us tuna are asking right at the moment. Why on earth would our beloved friend CHARLIE turn his back to all of us and support corporate interests? ESPECIALLY when the result is DEATH and destruction! That�s just mean.
So yeah, what are we gonna do? We�re gonna RISE ABOVE! We�re gonna RISE ABOVE! Us Tuna clans will unite and join to protect our friend FLIPPER, aquatic peacekeeping leader (and he�s a really nice guy too!), being as he�s the next target of the evil CHARLIE THE TUNA!
THIS JUST IN:
CHARLIE has been tracked on the phone with the STARKIST company. This is a transcript of their conversation. Obviously it�s in some kind of code.
STARKIST REP
Have you received your directive yet?
CHARLIE
Nay, I sayeth. Nay!
STARKIST REP
Eat Rex.
CHARLIE
Ay, Eat Rex!
STARKIST REP
Eat Rex or Eat Shoes.
CHARLIE
Nay, thousay shoes, thou get rex!
STARKIST REP
I can�t believe I�m talking to a tuna fish.
CHARLIE
Thousay stupid.
END TRANSCRIPT
OUR ALLIES HAVE DECIPHERED THE CODE.
�REX� meaning King. Being as the king is something really big and important, we figure it�s Flipper, being as nobody else in the whole ocean is important anymore after the tragic loss of our friend Keiko.
�SHOES� being the lowest part of the human�s bodily clothing, representing a dark, terrible low fate. Charlie said �no way hosea!�
So this message basically meant
�KILL FLIPPER OR YOU WILL SLEEP WITH THE FISHES!�
Pretty crazy.